Stoicism: the path to virtuous aging
Well we should cherish our old age and enjoy it. It is full of pleasure if you know how to use it. Fruit tastes most delicious just when its season is ending. Every pleasure defers to its last its greatest delights, and even the age that stands on the brink has pleasures of its own.
Seneca
You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.
Marcus Aurelius
If you look up stoic and stoicism in the dictionary, you find “ one who endures pain or hardship without showing feelings or complaining “, and “ apparent indifference to pleasure or pain “. This paints the picture of grim faced, unfeeling determination. These modern definitions don’t do justice to the philosophy founded by Zeno, and expanded by Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius. Many of the keystone stoic principles from that era translate well into modern times and may provide a philosophical framework to deal with the rigors and hardships associated with aging.
Modern stoicism is defined by an arguable list of key tenets. Many may resonate with you as you develop your own philosophy about aging.
Focus on what you can control. We cannot control everything, but we can control how we react. Things that are up to us include our thoughts, judgments, and actions. Things outside our control are outside events, reputation, other people’s actions, and death. Stoicism focuses on the examination and control of our internal feelings, thoughts, reactions, and personal environment.
Live virtuously. Within stoicism there are four cardinal virtues: 1) wisdom or truth 2) justice or fairness, 3) courage or fortitude and 4) self discipline. Cardinal vices include folly, injustice,cowardice, and indulgence. Virtue is its own reward. You do something because it’s the right thing to do.
Live in agreement with nature. Be who you’re meant to be. Do what you’re meant to do. This harkens to the concept of eudaimonia. You flourish by living virtuously in accordance with nature.
Practice gratefulness. Examine your inner self and acknowledge and be thankful for the good stuff no matter how small.
Be resilient. Use fortitude and self discipline to recover from the storms of life
Practice misfortune. Attempt to live with less, below your standard as an experiment. You may find that you don’t need the luxuries that you hold onto so tightly. If you later lose them you’ll be mentally prepared to control your reaction to any loss.
Amor Fati. Love of fate. Everything that happens in one’s life including pain and loss are necessary and even good because they are fated. Aligns with living in accordance with nature outlined above.
The path is about continuous progress, not perfection. Trying to live virtuously is the goal, but it is no guarantee of outcomes that are out of our control.
These are but a sampling of the core tenets of stoicism. I’m sure that serious students will feel that there are more to add to the list, but the ideas above should serve as a starting group in order to explain the benefit of stoicism towards successful aging.
So hopefully I’ve piqued your curiosity. Let’s go over some practices and exercises to get you started.
Practice mindfulness. Note and ignore distractions. Goals are noted and pursued. Really think about your feelings and reactions. Are they in alignment with the cardinal virtues? Work towards differentiating what is in your control from that which is out of your control.
Journal. Not the usual I did X at Y drivel. Examine your mind and lay out your feelings on your own path toward a virtuous life in accordance with nature. Record your best ideas and best practices. Use this as a measuring post to assess growth, or as a trail of breadcrumbs to bring you back if you lose your way.
Change your perspective. Take the view from another angle. Turn the problem upside down and reexamine it. This is particularly important in regards to justice or fairness.
Practice misfortune. I’m not advising that you give away all your worldly possessions. Start small; take cold showers for a week. Then when the water heater breaks you’ll have the resilience to deal with the discomfort. Try fasting or give up a favorite decadence. Denying yourself will make you stronger.
Contemplate your own death - Memento Mori. Remember that everything is ephemeral, even ourselves. By considering your death you demystify it to some extent, and it can be a source of courage to be grateful for the life that we have. One more reason to live virtuously right now. Start today.
Premeditatio Malorum. This aligns closely with practicing misfortune outlined above. The idea here is to contemplate the worst possible outcome. Picture it in your mind. Let the trouble wash over you. In spite of our worries, the worst thing rarely ever happens. This practice helps you build resilience, and oddly gratefulness.
Amor fati. Recognize and appreciate that most things are fated, or out of our control. Learn to love the process in all its intricacies.
Clearly there’s some heavy stuff in there. As is my usual exhortation, I invite you to adopt the practices that resonate with you personally. You need to pick and choose the ideas that fit and help you on your own path.
Successful aging depends on building a reserve of physical, mental, and emotional strengths that we can deploy to fight the upcoming battles. I promise that you will face an increasing phalanx of challenges in all facets of life. How we internalize and react to these problems differentiates success from disaster. Stoic thinking emphasizes mindful techniques to control our inner environment. This , in turn, can help us to lead a more meaningful, fulfilling, and even flourishing life in spite of the slings and arrows associated with aging.